Dating 6-16-11

Now it's probably famine again. I have probably lost contact with Chattanooga because she hasn't responded to my phone message or email, M didn't want to talk to me outside of eHarmony, and S gave me the generic disappearing excuse #1: "I'll call you next week sometime." Take note. That seems to be the best way to end a relationship if you've only had the one date. I don't know why S ended things.... I kind of wish I did. Maybe she could give me some good advice like "next time, don't talk about how fine the waitress' butt is during the date" or similar. Not that I did THAT, but maybe I am making one of what I think of as the "easy to avoid" mistakes like that.

Now that I've mentioned easy to avoid, I'd like to go into some harder ones. I think a few second dates have been missed because I didn't hold hands. I think of that sort of thing as intimate, so I usually wouldn't try on the first date, but it appears that I should try harder in that area. Golf asked me about that one, and of course many of the eHarm questions I received focused on things like holding hands as a public display of affection. Women wouldn't be asking about it if it's not important.

I had a date with L last Saturday, and then she let me know that she's going out of town. I wasn't sure if it was disappearing excuse #2: "I'll call you next week because..." in this case, because she's going out of town. I don't think it was an excuse because we talked on the phone a couple of times while she was out of town and we're still emailing nearly every day. Or anyway, I THINK we're emailing every day. I don't have one from today as yet, but of course we talked about how she got in late last night [or this morning] and so she's probably not feeling very social right now.

Some details about the date with L. I gave her a plastic bug because she had a summer internship collecting bugs. It turns out that I probably got the wrong KIND of bug [she said "cockroach?" and I meant "aphid"], but she put it in her purse rather than forgetting it on the table or in her seat, for example. She paid for half the meal and got a to-go box. I never do the to-go box on a date unless my date specifically mentions it in an approving way because I don't want to look cheap. Same goes for coupons, but I've never used on of those on a first date. The problem with the box became apparent after I walked her to her car. It's in the way of either hugging or kissing [unless you want to put in on the car], but I thought I was getting the right other signals and didn't let the box stop me.

I hope for a second date with L. We'll see. I mentioned it in an email a few days ago, but she delayed making a decision because she was out of town. I have not, of course, brought it up again because I don't want to look like I'm pressuring her. She has told me that she's busy on Sunday, but apparently not Saturday, and I'm not sure if that was some sort of signal, so I was careful to let her know I was also not busy on Saturday. I think I should mention getting together again in the next email even if she doesn't. Women like to be pursued, right?

Yeah, I know, it depends on the woman. Everything is like that. There are so many different signals, and maybe she doesn't think they mean the same things I think they do, or maybe she just has no clue about the signals thing....

Well, that's probably enough for now... I do hate to go on and on.



  

Dating 6-5-11

I think I'm back in famine again, or anyway, I seem to be only exchanging emails with one woman ["L"] that may want to go on a date. I actually emailing several regularly, but all but one have made their non-dating interests clear. I'm still trading emails with Golf and she told me the name of her boyfriend in a recent email so I'm sure now that her "I'm dating someone closer to where I live" email was not merely an excuse.

I let my subscription to eHarmony lapse. I was going to renew it when I found out that I would get a better rate [about $15 per month instead of $30], but then I found out that there were several hidden conditions. I contacted the eHarmony help desk and they were.... less than helpful.

L contacted me from OK Cupid. I would normally not recommend this site because it's free and I tend to think serious people would logically prefer the pays and non-serious people [for example, married people] would naturally gravitate to the free sites, but I've had a few prospects from Cupid. I normally don't like it when women contact me. They are often not very good matches. Some are obviously looking for some sort of sugar daddy. That's not what I want.