Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Dating 7-12-11

Well, this is neither feast nor famine. This is success.... I didn't expect it, and I wasn't ready for it. I've had 4 or 5 dates with L [or the one with the bug] and I expect our first two day date this weekend. So far, all the dates have been on either Friday or Saturday, and they're usually more than 4 hours. I think one of them was 10 hours, but I'm not sure.

We always have plenty of things to talk about, and we have a great many things in common. That kind of worries me in that I can't quite convince myself that she's not merely telling me what I want to hear. It's an easy thing to do, and I do it with some people [ex: bosses and supervisors]. As for what I'm telling her, I'm trying to be as open and honest as possible in the hopes that I'll cover everything and therefore avoid [or trigger] any landmines.

I figure if I'm going to trigger a landmine eventually anyway, I want to do it as soon as possible and get it out of the way before anyone gets their feelings hurt too much. That's something I learned from the previous relationship. I don't like to hurt people's feelings, but more honest seems to go hand in hand with more hurt feelings. It's a direct relationship.

One thing we don't seem to have in common is that I would rather take things slow in our relationship, and she seems to want to go faster. This reminds me of the way I thought when I was in my late teens and twenties, but now I'm much more interested in consequences, and therefore much more careful.

I wish I could just be honest about my concerns and somewhat uncertain feelings. Actually, I tried that with L last night on the phone, and I may have caused more trouble than I wanted. I admitted that traveling is not something I really like, and that I don't travel unless I'm with someone. I went to England with my ex and to Barcelona with N right before THAT breakup. I dated N before starting this blog, so I don't think I've mentioned her before.

I'm also still emailing D [golf ball], but less often lately. We only met the one time and I'm thinking we're running out of things to talk about.

1 comment:

  1. I like the "open and honest" approach. Try not to worry too much about whether she's just saying what you want to hear. Take it at face value. You can always ask questions about something she said, just as clarification or to see if she'll slip up. And don't take advice from someone who hasn't been on the dating scene in a while, lol.